Reeling it in
The Unofficial Law of Movie Theaters states that at any given screening of a film, therein exists at least a single person who is assigned to peeve the hell out of at least one person in the surrounding area.
We all know the obvious do-nots of a movie theater (no phone calls, no texting, no talking, etc.) but since the Miami International Film Festival is in town and movie-watching overzealousness is in the air, the Top Five Do-Nots of A Movie Theater are worth restating:
1. Bring kids to a movie that is not for kids. You want to be that cool older sister or brother who betrays the MPAA ratings and takes an 8 year-old to see Edge of Darkness, we get It, but they’ll likely end up fidgeting or crying, thereby disrupting the other patrons.
2. Bring strongly scented outside foods. We know a small popcorn costs more than the entrance of the movie, so we understand your need to economize by bringing Mom’s lasagna, but the smells of an unusual food in a theater is likely to raise an eyebrow and create a peeve.
3. Bring your cough without the drops. If you’ve got a wicked cough, it’s probably not your fault. If you’re going to see a movie, though, coughing noisily (and constantly) can become a drag to the people in the theater. A theater is designed for acoustics, so it’s likely to reach the ears of everyone there.
4. Laugh inappropriately. No one’s trying to regulate what your laugh should sound like, but we do suggest you regulate when you choose to laugh. If a serious moment in a movie reminds you of some hilarious thing your buddy did the day before, keep it to yourself.
5. Reveal spoilers before or during the film. If the film you’re about to watch is an adaptation, it won’t be unusual if many of the people who are about to watch it with you have no knowledge of the story and its plot. Take Twilight as an example. Even jokingly discussing how Bella will become a Vampire-Werewolf hybrid during a New Moon screening would have been considered as impolite (if not fun as hell).