Ask Andrea is an advice column run by Andrea Orellana, forum editor for The Reporter. To submit a question, send a 250- word email to firstname.lastname@example.org. All content is subject to editing for clarity.
I am a teacher and I tutor on the side. Back in March 2008, I got a call from Jackson Memorial telling me that one of the doctors needed math help for her son, Adrian. I noticed that the boy’s mom, “Jenny,” was very nice to me.
A month later, she invited me to her office and we had our first kiss. I told her that maybe we should wait until she got separated or divorced before we started something.
Eventually, she kicked her husband out of the house and our relationship started getting serious. This past summer, she distanced herself from me. I have asked her if she has met or has been talking to someone else, to which she says no. The communication between us is basically non-existent. I have pleaded with her to communicate with me, to tell me right away what is wrong, but she will not.
If I didn’t care for her, it would have been very easy for me to walk away from her. But I don’t know what else to do at this time.
-Tutor In Trouble
Dear Tutor In Trouble,
She's got a lot on her shoulders and she may feel like keeping her issues to herself is easier than explaining. It seems like she's losing interest or becoming overwhelmed by the pressure this relationship brings to her.
Consider a short-term separation. If you do not give her room to miss you, she may not see the value of your relationship. When the separation is over, talk it out and see where you can go from there.